Messy Middle Manifesto
Disclaimer: This is being written in the middle. I am a first-time mother, and I am currently mothering. This is not advice. This is a reminder to myself; and since I have a blog, I figured I’d post it here, in case it meets you in your middle.
This is my Messy Middle Manifesto.
This is a season that will change, like every season before it. I want to lean in, love well, learn, and look back with pride and joy because I didn’t just grit my teeth and get through it, but instead, fought for good. I fully recognize there will be teeth-gritting days - days where no one is thriving and we are all barely surviving. But I know that even then - especially then - God’s abundant, immeasurable, limitless grace meets us exactly where we are and carries us through to another day.
REMEMBER WHAT IS TRUE:
I believe in Jesus.
The Son of God, fully God and fully man, who experienced everything on this earth, from birth to death. He lived a perfect life, died a brutal death, and was resurrected to life again to pay the impossible debt of sin and make a way to reconcile all people with our Maker: God, the Father. I receive and celebrate the gift of salvation: God’s Spirit with me and within me, forever satisfying my soul and always leading me to truth and love.
I believe I am the best mother for my children.
The creator and knower of everything - the One who has never and will never make a mistake - chose me, believes in me, and will perfectly parent me as I imperfectly parent my children.
I believe in consistency, not perfection.
I will never get it right all of the time. My children need to see me fail and try again, ask forgiveness when I need to, and forgive myself, too.
I believe love is what lasts.
The way I love my children is what will shape them and their view of the world. The way I love my children is the way they will love themselves and love others. The way I love my children is what they will remember. My love is my legacy.
TRY, AND TRY AGAIN:
Fight for connection.
It’s us against the issue, never me against you.
Stay calm, and expect testing always.
Testing of every boundary, consequence, and shred of patience.
Give choices, explain consequences, and let you choose.
When I force, no one wins.
Follow. Through.
I will do what I say I will do. So I will think before I speak.
Take the time to teach.
Showing you the right way to do something, instead of just telling you what not to do.
Let you learn.
Patience and presence over haste and hurry.
Maintain perspective, and lend it to you.
Wonder, hope, joy, gratitude.
Be steady and safe.
Remembering that it’s not my job to stop the waves of emotions but to be your anchor. It’s not my job to stop every storm but to be your shelter.
See the best, and speak it over you.
Constantly reminding myself that you are learning and growing, just like me. Your behaviors are not about frustrating me but finding yourself. My words will be your truth. My voice will be your guide.
Turn to Jesus.
Above all, before all, and in all. With every fear and frustration, doubt and disappointment, mundane and mind-numbing, first and last, best and worst, victory and defeat.
Let love lead.
Let love lead me to see the truth of the gospel - Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection for all people. Let love lead me to see my sin and my savior. Let love lead me to repentance and refreshing. Let love lead me to soul satisfaction and daily bread. Let love lead me to lead you to Love.
