Palms Up
My fingers are tingling as I write this morning. I'm feeling lots of emotions as I anticipate the words that will flow and your thoughts as you read them. Just two little words sprung up in my soul as I sat with Jesus three Sunday mornings ago on my bedroom floor. I was tired; physically, emotionally, mentally. I had been running from God - not in a super-dramatic way where I felt Him calling me to give everything away and move across the world or anything. Just running away from Him; running away from spending time with Him because I didn't feel "good at it." I've been trying to do everything on my own with just a little Jesus sprinkled in. But my soul wanted more; my soul wanted me to stop and sit and listen and breathe and not care about being "good at it." I could feel it, and yet, I just kept running, just kept moving.
But that Sunday morning, I stopped. I woke up before my alarm went off, slid out of bed, got on the floor, and just sat in the darkness for a little bit. I really wasn't sure what I was doing or what I was waiting for. But in that 10 minutes when everything was still, specifically me and my mind, my life was changed by just two little words: palms up.
No, I didn't hear a booming voice in my bedroom, just a whisper in my soul. Two little words that wrecked my world, jump-started my spirit, and stripped away the heaviness from my heart.
Palms up.
Just picture it, or better, yet, do it. Open your hands, and flip them over. Put your palms up. Did you feel it? That overwhelming calm. A physical and mental release.
Such a simple gesture with so much significance.
As I sat there in the dark and continued to turn those words over and over in my mind, I made a mental note about what that simple act means in my life.
Palms up means letting go. No longer clenching my fists and trying to hold on so tightly to things I have deemed mine.
Palms up means surrender. No longer trying to fight on my own. No longer trying to keep everything on my own shoulders.
Palms up means ready to receive. No longer giving God my wishlist but trusting that the God who created me and loves me and wants to spend time with me, also wants what is best for me and truly knows what that is.
Palms up means humility.
Palms up means peace.
Palms up means adoration.
Palms up means praise.
Palms up means encouraging others.
Palms up means asking for forgiveness.
I'm striving to live according to that little gesture - those two words that now have so much significance. It's not easy, and I catch myself with clenched fists all the time. But the peace that palms up brings is overwhelming in the best kind of way.
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My heart was stirred to sit and listen by this amazing book my husband and I are reading through with our connect group - 'Celebration of Discipline' by Richard Foster. I highly recommend picking up a copy and savoring every word. It is truly amazing.